The Accidental Nester

Like most of America, or for that matter, most citizens of the world, we have become accidental “nesters” for the past month and will remain so, most likely for another month. Confined, within certain limits, to our homes, to the grocery store, to the pharmacy.

Like many of our peers, the adjustment has not been terribly hard, since we are retired from the structure of everyday work life. But we are far from retired from the structure of everyday life, and have built a life with scheduled activities every day of the week, including fitness classes, personal training activities, volunteer activities with our therapy dog Emma, and more. So while we may be empty nesters, we have become stay-at-home nesters in recent weeks.

But let’s confess. There’s a lot to be said for this unstructured life. Yoga pants or workout pants every day feel pretty good. It is easy to forget that some pants still have zippers and buttons on them, or that some shoes are not a variety of sneakers (why anyone would own them, I do not know!)? In fact, one of my “mitigation splurges” was a great new pair of sneakers, all in the name of keeping the economy afloat.

The days go by fairly quickly for us, despite the fact that we are still up early (usually around 8ish). Here’s how we fill our time:

Cooking. Since returning to Charleston, I have turned into a half-decent cook. Grocery stores, in recent years, have become one of my “happy places,” and even now, I look forward to my weekly visit to Harris Teeter or Whole Foods. I have tried new soups, new Passover recipes (some hits, some misses), baked a few things (some hits, some misses), but needless to say, we have never eaten this well. My only home delivery comes from CostCo, because I simply don’t want to stand in those lines with hopes of getting a roasted chicken.

Eating. In between cooking, we talk about where we will get our weekly take-out. Our goal is to pick-up take-out once a week as a show of support to our local restaurateurs. Plus, going out for the food is another reason to get out of the house, so we try to think of restaurants at a distance, so we can take a further ride. A win-win, in my humble opinion.

Exercise. We watch the weather constantly, but gratefully live in a mild weather zone and have had largely beautiful weather this spring. So far, there have been two hot days and two tornadic days, but we have been spared the worst of all of the bad weather. So we have devised assorted walking routes of various lengths inside and outside of our own neighborhood, depending upon whether the dog will be with us. We are hesitant to cross the highway with her, in case Emma decides to sit down in the middle of the road to scratch herself or roll over on her back for a tummy rub. So when the weather is good (which is most days), we are outside walking. When the weather is less than perfect, we are in our frog (the finished room over the garage) using our treadmill, spin cycle, hand weights, bands, etc. We miss the community of our gym, but we don’t want to get out of shape or lose the good fitness habits we have developed in recent years.

Reading. Allan can’t stop reading. Whenever I can’t hear him, I know his head is buried, generally in a Stephen King novel. Right now he is reading The Testament. I have read an older Jodi Picot novel, Vanishing Act, and two Alice Hoffman novels. Our “to read” stacks are large.

Puzzling. As my friends know, I am a jigsaw junkie. I get engrossed in a 1,000, 1,500 or 2,000-piece puzzle and don’t come up for air until it’s finished (perhaps why I haven’t blogged much recently). Puzzling takes away from my reading time, but it is a calming, mindful activity. Allan does his own puzzling activity, in the guise of expert-level Lego sets. He is an AFOL, an adult fan of Legos, and is about to complete the Statue of Liberty and begin the Volkswagen bus.

Talking. We talk to each other all the time, but we have made an extra effort in recent weeks to reach out to others as well. I try every day to connect to someone to whom I haven’t spoken in a very long time. Sometimes, I get through; sometimes, I leave a message; sometimes, the phone in no longer in service. Nonetheless, the gift of time gives us the luxury of the gift of conversation. More than anything at a time like this, it is good to stay connected.

Time between these deliberate activities are filled with the mundane — laundry, housework, the occasional doctor’s appointment, and some yard work. We were fortunate to get to our favorite nurseries before they closed. The lettuces in my little “victory garden” are thriving and there are tomatoes on the vine.

When “the curve flattens,” when the world “returns to normal,” it will be a sadder world in some respects. I will be happy for those who can return to work and to school, easing the economic burden this virus has wrought. I will be happy to reconnect with friends and family, to share a glass of wine with a meal prepared and served by someone else, to spin with my gym friends, to walk one of our beautiful beaches, to visit the children.

But I will miss the quiet of the atmosphere, the lack of traffic, and the general kindness that has descended when we have all tried to take better care of ourselves and our neighbors, and, in turn, the world around us. In the meantime, we take a few minutes every night to count our blessings for our health and for the peace and quiet that surrounds us.