The Accidental Remodeler

Or Maybe Not an Accident at all …

This post has been on my mind since January of this year, when I launched a long-awaited outdoor addition to the house. It involved removal of the back deck, expanding it across the width of the entire back of the house, roofing it, wiring it (recessed lights and ceiling fans), and screening it. The end result was to be an outdoor living room and dining room, allowing my husband and I to enjoy our beautiful lake view year-round, despite summer heat, mosquitos, or the winter chill.

It was no small project. The porch sits about eight feet above ground, so additional reinforcements needed to be built under the old porch area as well as the expanded area. Brick columns needed to be constructed that perfectly matched the existing brick columns from the former outside deck.

At the outset, during demolition (which goes rather quickly), the timeline for the project was six weeks. Well, here we are, six months later, and we have truly yet to cross the finish line.

Yes, we are enjoying the porch. The design and the workmanship have been excellent. Furniture has been purchased and is in place, and we are happy with those choices. (For the curious, the indoor/outdoor rugs as well as the living room tables came from overstock.com.) But nothing has been painless, to say the least.

The greatest pain of the project surrounded construction of the fireplace, when a fireplace box was built before the fireplace insert itself was ordered. Needless to say, the insert did not fit in a way that would not burn the house down. A separate contractor was brought in to rebuild the fireplace, extend the gas line, install a water line in the porch (so we can hose down the floor during pollen season), and bring this painful part of the project to a close. Five days of labor, I was told.

Five weeks later, the work is not done. The new fireplace is built, and it is lovelier than I could have imagined with a Carrera marble surround and a barn wood mantle ordered from Etsy. Above the mantle rests a beautiful LG television set purchased from Costco (as was the dining set that seats nine). The gas line and water lines are in, and the crew members could not have been nicer. So what’s the rub?

Fortunately, it is the middle of summer, because the fireplace logs have yet to arrive. The first logs delivered came with a propane tank rather than a gas connection. For some reason — blame it on supply chain logististics — the new logs have yet to arrive.

Now you may say this is no big deal. For all intents and purposes, the porch is done. But I would have to argue with you, because no job is done until all the i’s are dotted and the t’s are crossed. And all the subcontractors paid. So there’s that unfinished part of the project.

The icing on the cake was to be the landscaping of the backyard. In all honesty, our backyard was never nice. In order to expand the deck, I removed seven terribly overgrown azaleas and for the first time, hired a landscape firm to give me a simple, workable plan for the yard. During the construction process, what was a rather ugly yard became a lumber yard and then a virtual sandpit. We really needed the help.

I was pleased with the response, the idea and the bid from a nearby landscaping firm. Selections were made for pavers (I desperately wanted a patio downstairs for the grill and some additional outdoor seating) and shrubbery (gardenias were the choice). The crew came as scheduled and worked a terrific week, until it was time to repair the sprinkler system, a standard part of their job.

The sprinkler system in the backyard was repaired, after discovering that three pipes were crushed, in all likelihood during porch construction. Zone 1 in the front yard came on. Then nothing. No other sprinkler heads emerged anywhere in the yard. No power. And the two zones that were working went dark — or dry, I should say.

And now, one week later, no one has come back to solve this mystery. So my beloved husband is in the yard, every morning and every evening, with a hose and sprinkler, protecting the investment of our new sod and shrubs.

I had delayed writing this post until the project was complete, until my astute son noted that the ever-moving goal line was the point of the post itself. The old adage regarding construction/ remodeling is true: it takes twice as long (at least) and costs twice as much (at least) as expected.

Yes, we are close, but we are not across the finish line. There are still two subcontractors with work to finish. Two subcontractors to be paid.

And one client more than anxious to get this six-week project complete, some six months later. Because those of you who know me, an avowed HGTV-addict, know I have the next project in mind!